with loves.

Life is full of surprises, isn’t it? Sometimes, the most ordinary thing you’re clutching in your hands happens to be the one that leaves you in stupefaction. 




I believe in love, cos' it is the only thing that keeps me rooted and sets me soaring high above. 
 

Crac! (Société Radio-Canada-Frédéric Back, 1981)
Video sent by dephaad

Everything she ever wanted in her life was somehow literally or figuratively captured in this little strip of animation. The continum of love and family, the reasonance of happy times that she always lingered inside inanimate objects, the traditions of shared affectionate life that she so hoped to cremate in her own world, all of it was there.
-Jim Beaver, Life's That Way

Yesterday, I just found out that I had being fooled by my project group mates for one whole week. They were really good and convincing seriously! I painstakingly wrote notes for 8 weeks worth of lectures within the past one week, only to find out that it’s all an April’s fool prank!

But, it was certainly some good laughs there (:
Shall treat the past week’s effort as a good revision for the finals (:

and yup, I was really pleasantly surprised to know that they evaluated me well for the project. Although it was just 1 mark and probably wont count much towards the final grade, I am still very thankful (:

Sometimes, it’s really these kind of little surprises which come by unexpectedly that makes me smile from ear to ear ((: 

Talking about surprises,
thanks kang for the postcard (which came some time ago) 
It's really nice to hear from you (:
but more updates from through your blog and email yea?
as always, do take care.



and how can i not mention this...
thank you...
for taking time to come all the way down from the north-east, admist all your stressful assignments and projects, just because I was complaining of sore throat and runny nose.

Looking down to you from my window,
the honey drink you prepared for me,
the sweet recording embedded in the ‘get-well-soon’ bear.
It was all unexpected and truly had me stupefied.

It was tears of happiness that I cried.
And I am certain that I have never felt like this before.
my heart is abounding with gratitude, just for you.

* * * *

to end off,  here's a song  from the soundtracks of P.S. I Love You.
Listening to it sure makes me feel like indulging in the movie again for the 5th time (:

* * * *

I like it when contentment fills my heart. I really feel that nothing more is needed in my life right now. Everything I could ask for seems to be here and in place.

And here’s a poem I randomly thought of while cozying up in my bed on this chilly morning:
 

Oh it is good to rest our feet at a little café,
With drinks at the other end of the table.
Browse through the pages of magazines,
And then, talk about nothing at all.

Oh it is good to laugh like a child,
To savor life’s simple pleasures,
To marvel at God’s creation,
And to let happiness seep through my very soul.

Oh it is good to idle at home.
Listen to music soothing to the ears.
Enjoy the sereneness of rustic peace,
And then, be contented with all that I have.

((:

* * * *

Anyway, I chanced upon an AIDS Awareness blog and followed it quite some time ago. One of the entries was titled: “What is the soundtrack of your life?” 

The proposition was “If you could make a soundtrack of your life, what ten songs would you pick?”

The trick to this is to not just pick your 10 favourite songs. Some of them can be favourites, but some of them could just be songs that remind you certain times in your life – The Defining Moments. 

I always love listening to songs. There’s so many zillions number of songs in this world…I guess it’s inevitably to come across songs that sort of lend a voice to the silence in the heart or in the head. For the lack of words, songs can be ways of expressing those thoughts out, without having to speak.

 Wanted to explain why I choose these 10 songs, but i guess i shall just let the lyrics and music explain itself. 
So, here's my 10 songs (randomly selected from my playlist):

1. Photograph – Nickelback
2. Life Is Beautiful - LMNT
3. The Climb - Miley Cyrus
4. Fix You - Coldplay
5. Run - Addison Road
6. The Luckiest -Ben Folds Five
7. Breathe (2am) - Anna Nalick
8. I believe - Yolanda Adams
9. Ordinary Miracle - Sarah McLachlan
10. Forrest Gump – Alan Silvestri

* * * *

yay! going to rachel's church wedding and wedding dinner later.
i love weddings (:
beautiful, isn't it?

And for each stressful moment, there’s only myself to blame.
Way too much time meant for studying was luxuriously spent on television shows, sleeping and what’s not.
I honestly ought to be disappointed with myself for all the time wasted in extravagant ways.
But yet, disappointment is such an overused expression…
it doesn’t seem to deliver an impact anymore. L

With no slightest hint of wanting to prolong this entry…
I pause, and gather a deep breath.

The tunes of one of my favorite pieces now float melodiously in the background.
Something simple, yet captivating about it lightens up my mood.

and I listen...

.

.

 ...till the music, eventually, faints away.

It almost seems like my words have slipped slowly and gently away into the night. 

* * *


and before I end off this entry..
 

thank you.
for everything.
(:

bzzzt.
* * *

I have just watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button yesterday, with much anticipation.


I especially love this part whereby the scriptwriter goes down to the intricate details just to tell us of life.

* * *
BENJAMIN BUTTON:

Sometimes we are on a collision course and we just don’t know it...
Whether it’s by accident or by design, there’s not a thing we can do about it...

A woman in Paris was on her way to go shopping...
But she had forgotten her coat...
and went back to get it...
And when she had gotten her coat the phone had rung...
and so she had stopped to answer it...
and talked for a couple of minutes...  

And while the woman was on the phone;
Daisy was rehearsing for that evening’s performance at the Paris Opera House...

And while she was rehearsing...
the woman, off the phone now...
had gone outside...
to get a taxi....
she moves to get it...
but somebody gets there first...
and she waits for the next cab...

And all the while Daisy was rehearsing...

And the cab driver who had dropped off the earlier fare, and had stopped to get the cup of coffee...
had picked up the lady, who was going shopping...
who had missed getting the earlier cab...

The taxi had to stop for a man crossing the street who had left for work five minutes later than he normally did...
because he forgot to set his alarm...  

...While the man, late for work, was crossing the street...
making the cab wait...
Daisy, finished rehearsing, was taking a shower.

...While Daisy was showering;
the taxi was waiting outside a Boutique for the woman to pick up a package...
which hadn’t been wrapped yet because the girl who was supposed to wrap it...
had broken up with her boyfriend the night before and forgot to...

When the package was done being wrapped...
The woman, who was back in the cab...
the taxi was blocked by a delivery truck...

All the while Daisy was getting dressed... 

The Delivery truck pulled off and the taxi was able to go...

While Daisy, the first to be dressed, waited for one of her friends who had broken a shoelace...

While the taxi was stopped, waiting for a traffic light...
Daisy and her friend came out of the theater...

Daisy and her friend,
carrying their dance bags,
coming down the steps out of the theater,
coming along the street to the corner...
They start to cross the street...
Daisy, showing her friend a tight pirouette... 

And if only one thing had happened differently
...if only the shoelace hadn’t broken...
...Or the delivery truck had moved moments earlier...
...Or the package had been wrapped and ready...
because the girl hadn’t broken up with her boyfriend... 
...Or the man had set his alarm and got up five minutes earlier..
...Or the taxi driver hadn’t stopped for a cup of coffee.
...Or the woman had remembered her coat...
...And had gotten into an earlier cab...

 Daisy and her friend would have crossed the street...
...and the taxi would have driven by them...

But life being what it is...
a series of intersecting lives and incidents...
Out of anyone’s control...
the taxi did not go by...
and the driver momentarily was distracted by the cigarette ash from his shirt...
And he didn’t see Daisy crossing the street...

...and that taxi hit Daisy...

And her leg was crushed...

 * * *

A misery that could be averted in many ways
...but nobody would have known about it.
 
Life.
Sometimes we are fooled to believe that we're in control, when we are really not.
None of us knows what the future holds.
We all don't know what's coming for us.

A wrong turn,
an eventual decision,
can change one's life forever.

The movie did, too, intrigued my mind in many other ways.

It brought light to the fact that humans' minds are so stiffened by social definitions of ugliness...
...to truly see what beauty is.

It showed me just how incredible life works itself;
as we walk through life,
we gain some, we lose some,
we suffer and we rejoice.
people come, people leave.

It made me realize that sometimes, all it takes to be happy is to marvel at the simplest and littlest things in life.
...to just put away all the inconsequences of life.

And sometimes along the way, we question God's creation
we become puzzled.. and angry even.
but perhaps...
if we listen hard enough
...God will have an answer.

And like what was said..
when it comes to the very end, we all have to let go

* * *
What I saw was a striking resemblance of what'd passed.

The only difference was the lack of courage...
but I know that, being me, I wouldn't have done it differently.
 

After all the daily outings for the entire week and a day spent nursing a sore throat and blocked nose yesterday, I really felt physically sapped. Finally, it is a day to be fruitfully spent at home.

Nobody’s home and I find myself relishing every bit of this rare quiescent at home. Perfect, I thought. Somehow, I needed some quiet time alone. Although the sun is already halfway up the sky now, I find myself lingering on the relic of the breaking dawn from this morning. Many thoughts flashed through my mind, and it is as though every thought has a life of its own. I lean gently against the wall, and start reflecting on the previous year – 2008.

As cliché as it may sound, 2008 has been a rollercoaster ride for me, a year riding on its extreme highs and lows. On its low, I had cried so much in 2008, so much that it felt like a vicious payback for the past three years of subdued tears. I used to be a person who never tears easily. I cannot exactly make out what dramatized this change and whether it is a sign of weakness or strength. I have learnt that it is alright to let go of my emotions and innermost feelings. I have also become more receptive to others’ acts of comfort when I’m down. The truth is, it felt better not needing to swallow back in all the grievances and sorrows. And my heart is filled with gratitude for people who stood by me and cheer me on whenever I fall.

But, at the same time, I yearn to be stronger in 2009 and to subtract away the burden that I have unintentionally placed on my loved ones.

This year, I realize that when you miss something or someone, the pining never stops. Several years ago, I lost two friends who meant a lot to me. Friends whom I believed would be my bridesmaids on my wedding day and would faithfully see other through till we all have children. I had failed to cherish them because I always felt different from them and could never really fit in. But till now, I have never stopped missing them. Everytime I passed by our skyscraper, our now-defunct treehouse or when I saw the “NO MSG” sign at pastamania, I would be reminded of them and those fond memories together. They remain a part of me and I can safely say that I will never ever be able to forget them.

Then, there was him. I guess I can never be vindicated from the endless string of apologies that I have for him. And of all the things I want to say, I only muster enough courage to say thanks. Thanks for all the past memories. Thanks for simply being there for all those times. If it is not too much to ask for, I hope both of us will eventually find our way into this special thing called friendship.

2008, I remained a muddle-headed person or perhaps, even more. I am always misplacing my belongings, always being perfunctorily forgetful, always losing perception of things, etc. Sometimes, I am embarrassed by my own disorient state. As for now, I have yet to recover from the shock I had gotten from the most recent event that resulted from my own carelessness. As I sit here on my bed, I stare at the planner placed on the table. I bought it to be a gift, but it had since lost its purpose.

I have probably made this resolution many times before, but I still hope I can a more clear-minded person in 2009.

And most importantly, in 2008, there were you to thrust me up to the highest point of the year, or more aptly put, of my life. You are like my soulmate. Someone I can confide in about everything, because you will always be there to listen. Someone I can trust, simply because my heart tells me so and truly, the heart never lies. Someone I can rely upon; even when the sky is cloudy all day, it seems like you can borrow tomorrow’s sun, just for me. Yes, just for me.

You, the sweetest one I’ve ever known. And in my heart, I wholly thank God for bringing me to you.

2008. It passed too quickly. With hands clenching tightly to all the memories in 2008, I move on to embrace this new year. And I do believe that 2009 will be even more beautiful one (:

May this Christmas be the first of many, 
Each more joyous in our growing love, 
Revealing more of happiness than any 
Riches might provide or pain remove. 
Years flow like an unrepentant river, 
Carrying the soil of life away, 
Holding far more than they can deliver, 
Rushing past the certitudes that stay. 
In love there is an instance of forever 
So shy and lovely it eludes the eye, 
The sense of being home when we're together, 
More enduring than a reason why. 
As love is born of passion, borne by will, 
So may for many years we choose love still.
-Unknown

I love this year’s Christmas. Laid back, simple and spent with people who meant the world to me. Although Christmas was a chilly one this year, I genuinely felt the warmth meandering through my heart. I like Christmas. I like it simply because it is a season of unconditional love and a season of giving. The sole purpose of gifts is to delight. They can never be replaced by the very presence of my loved ones. :)

Although I am not a Christian and am undeserving to mention Him in any way, I will still like to give my humble thanks. Thank God for providing the comfort that I was seeking for during the exam period. And, Thank Him for answering my prayers.

Thanks for those who dropped by sweet wishes and Christmas cards in my little inbox and letterbox. I hope I’ve replied every message, eventually. If not, my apologies! Merry Christmas too (:

And of course, though I am two day late here, happy birthday to Lin Hong Hui, the Christmas baby (: